Una corrección real de Protu

Un ensayo real de IELTS Academic Task 2 corregido por Protu, tal como lo ve un estudiante, con las explicaciones en español. Toca cualquier frase resaltada para ver qué estaba mal y por qué.

AcadémicoTarea 2Seleccionar banda objetivo: 6.0-6.5Banda Prevista: 6.5

Some people believe that individuals should be responsible for reducing environmental problems, while others think that governments and large companies should take the main responsibility.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Versión corregida

Ensayo original (haz clic para ver las correcciones)

In recent years, environmental become . Some people argue that individuals should be responsible for reducing these problems, whereas others think that governments and large companies should take the main responsibility. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in this essay. On one hand, individuals can to protect the environment. They can walk or cycle , they can reduce the amount of meat they eat and they can . If a lot of people make these changes, the total impact would be very significant. For example, in my city started to separate their rubbish, and the amount of waste going to landfill has in the last few years. On the other hand, governments and big companies have more resources and influence. A government can introduce taxes on pollution and can build better public transport. Companies can change their products to be more environmentally friendly. Because much more waste than households, it is logical that they . Also, governments can give money to companies which develop clean technology, and this can create new jobs at the same time. Without this support, most companies would not change their way of working. Personally, I believe governments and companies should take the leading role, because not enough. Nevertheless, individuals should also support green policies and change their lifestyle. To conclude, protecting the environment is a shared responsibility, but governments and companies should do the most.

Ensayo revisado

In recent years, environmental problems such as climate change and plastic pollution have become a major global concern. Some people argue that individuals should be responsible for reducing these problems, whereas others think that governments and large companies should take the main responsibility. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in this essay. On one hand, individuals can take a range of practical measures to protect the environment. They can walk or cycle instead of driving, they can reduce the amount of meat they eat and they can buy fewer things. If a lot of people make these changes, the total impact would be very significant. For example, in my city many families have started to separate their rubbish, and the amount of waste going to landfill has declined significantly in the last few years. On the other hand, governments and big companies have more resources and influence. A government can introduce taxes on pollution and can build better public transport. Companies can change their products to be more environmentally friendly. Because industries produce much more waste than households, it is logical that they bear a greater share of the responsibility. Also, governments can give money to companies which develop clean technology, and this can create new jobs at the same time. Without this support, most companies would not change their way of working. Personally, I believe governments and companies should take the leading role, because individual actions alone are not enough. Nevertheless, individuals should also support green policies and change their lifestyle. To conclude, protecting the environment is a shared responsibility, but governments and companies should do the most.

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Comentarios generales

  • El ensayo responde claramente a ambas perspectivas y presenta una opinión personal coherente.
  • La organización es sólida, con párrafos bien diferenciados y conectores adecuados.
  • El vocabulario es correcto, pero algunas expresiones son demasiado generales o informales; utiliza alternativas más académicas.
  • Hay seis errores gramaticales claros de concordancia, gerundios y determinantes; revisa especialmente sujeto y verbo.
  • Desarrolla ejemplos más específicos para explicar cómo las políticas gubernamentales pueden reducir la contaminación.

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